Rocky Rani vs Aman Ki Prem Kahani

The kahani is great but the prem..? Questionable.

The main dish …

I loved Rocky Rani ki Prem Kahani. It was a delightful movie packed with a cute plot, great actors, tolerably flawed characters, and nostalgia bunched across the soundtrack. I adored Rocky because, paraphrasing Karan Johar, he wears both his Gucci and his heart on his sleeve. Rocky is brighter than sunshine, and a misfit lover in today’s (tiny) progressive bubble. He is endearing despite his dated charm because he has a large heart and an open mind. These are two things Rani’s enormous ego allows no space for. You respect Rani but find her insufferable with her feminist savior complex. I yuck her from my deepest core because I see myself in her follies the story lets us overlook - she ruins Rocky’s acts of love without considering that they don’t just serve her but also him. She presumes oppression where there could be a complicated kind of love, and the story rewards her endlessly despite all this. You are rooting for Rani not just because she seems right, but also because you are always rooting for Rocky, who loves her hopelessly.

The movie was a delightful package. As with Anupama Chopra, “it put a smile on my face and a spring in my step, and .. it just made me really happy.” The dialogues were thought-provoking while also being accessible. Karan Johar can made us North Indians question the way we see men performing delicate dances, see the cruelty of fat-shaming in our families; forced us to confront the mystified feminine lingerie with a great monologue .. all while sprinkling us with memorable characters, glamorous outfits and lots of abs. The movie started so many conversations. Everyone took something back. For instance, my mom remarked about how both homes were governed by a dominant woman. Even Rocky’s father, though traditionally macho and seemingly the patriarch of the family, was ruled by the wishes of his mother. The difference between Rocky and Rani’s fathers were not of masculinity vs femininity, but of secure vs insecure manhood.

But …

Where was the chemistry? Rocky and Rani have NO vibes. The chemistry was so hollow that even great acting, direction, dialogue, and songs couldn’t establish why they are both drawn to each other. This is not an exception. It seems that most movies now sprinkle enough ‘steamy’ scenes to signal that two adults are making love. But since when did Bollywood give up the romance in love-making? I feel (low-key) betrayed. ‘Steamy’ scenes today follow the input>output>outcome formula, leaving the audience with nothing memorable. Rocky touches Rani; Rani acts like it’s super hot; and this gives the plot the outcome of great chemistry. In all this, the intimacy is nowhere to be found - When and where do two people understand each other?

I know Bollywood gets a lot of hate for “eye-fucking” as opposed to showing nudity/sex. I see why - I really do - but I am strongly on the side of (erstwhile) Bollywood, where intimacy was established through a lot of connection that didn’t solely emanate from sex. Trust me, I hate being old-school about most things, especially sex. However, eye-fucking is essential to a story of opposites attract. Without it, all you have is a story establishing why two people are so unlike and bad to/for each other. This staring into the eyes is the acknowledgement of each others different - and similar - personhoods. How else do you know that they see each other for their all? Dharmendra and Shabana have more chemistry even though their love story gets half the spotlight. This is because the audience is with them on their journey - why they were drawn to each other originally (bad marriages, shared interest in art). Even today, their revival is spent in shared activities and singing songs to one another.

All this comes back to the central premise - why do I (we) love watching romance? The catharsis was never about ‘happily ever after’. The catharsis is when two deeply flawed people see each other with the sparkle and the shadows, and still accept each other; still love each other. The classic Bollywood movie establishes unconditional love. It’s so very flawed, but it’s lovely and i miss it so, so much.

“Pyaar toh bahaut log karte hai,

lekin mere jaisa pyaar koi nahi kar sakta.

Kyuki kisi ke paas tum jo nahi ho.”

Kal Ho Na Ho, Aman using his love to tell Naina how much Aman loves her. A dialogue that can never be justly translated.

The sides…

1. If you thought feminism was making romance chaotic, wait till you dissect the cocktail the cultural Right is making and trending across social media. This essay made me pause and slow clap so much that the notes and highlights could almost make another essay:

   The sexual revolution, whatever its benefits, also blew up virtually all the social structures and strictures that used to regulate romantic entanglements, leaving young people to navigate a lawless, chaotic landscape in which there’s no guarantee that the person you’re sleeping with even likes you, let alone intends to commit. Almost every trend in this sphere — from the demisexuals who insist that requiring an emotional connection before sex represents a protected identity category to the ubiquitous therapy-speak that turns ordinary disappointments into pathologies — represents an attempt by young women to reestablish some sort of order, to make their romantic and sexual lives make sense. And when young women are less likely to be looking for Mr. Right than hunting for the red flags that reveal a man to be undateable, it’s not hard to see the appeal of imposing a rigid framework on the whole endeavour, even if that framework is rooted in manipulation and pretence.

   The new Rules-esque paradigm, on the other hand, wants little to do with that. The woman who successfully employs these methods isn’t loved; she’s pampered, paid for, and worshipped like the goddess she is. If marriage is mentioned, it’s as a business arrangement, one in which the woman trades her presence — and, if her husband plays his cards right, sex — for being kept in the manner to which she’s accustomed. Men are meant to be milked for all they’re worth and summarily discarded the moment they step out of line. One of the movement’s biggest influencers, Chidera Eggerue, actually got her start as an evangelist for the “dump him” school of feminism, which is exactly what it sounds like. The central thesis is that any relationship which makes demands on a woman’s time, energy and attention — which is to say, every relationship, ever — is better off terminated so that she can focus on the only thing that truly matters: herself.

   if you imagine that women are the eternal underdog in a relationship landscape ruled by patriarchy, it’s possible to convince yourself that literally anything you do at the expense of a man — including batting eyelashes until he buys you shoes — is a form of female empowerment. Just ignore the part where it reinforces rather than subverts every gendered stereotype of women as hypergamous gold diggers. This is how men who manipulate women’s psychology to get them into bed can be derided as loathsome misogynists, while women who take a similar approach with men are yass kweened all the way home… But they’re both playing the same game; indeed, they couldn’t exist without each other. And more than that, they’re making the same mistake with their suspicious, mistrustful approach to the opposite sex. The pick-up artists instruct that women need to be tricked into giving up sex, their sole asset in the dating marketplace; the dump-him feminists do the same with men and their money.

   “..the desire for love and companionship doesn’t break down along gendered lines. Most people want to fall in love. Most people want to find a partner. And most people understand that these desires are not grotesque weaknesses, but a normal — and, if you’re lucky, wonderful — part of the human experience.”"

2. On cultural exchange, cultural appropriation, and some strangely appropriate parallels to intellectual property rights. This Podcast debates - very nicely I might add - whether Artists Should Be Allowed To Borrow From Cultures Besides Their Own?

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Thank you for making it so far. If you liked this, let me know. If you have ✨thoughts✨, let me know. If you hated it, please leave me alone.

~ Feeling at home, whilst writing from home,

Uno