Individual and collective feelings
Pride, shame, judgement and rootlessness - we are not alone
Seven things…
When the Chandrayan-3 Mission landed on the moon, did you (like me) feel… nothing? This piece from Manu Joseph spoke to the ambitious patriot in me and made me feel less alone. “I guess pride is a side of shame.”
Pride is a low-hanging fruit of happiness.. I do not grudge them that. Many people go through their whole lives doing nothing they can be proud of, so why not usurp a bit from the nation?.. But, somehow, people do not feel the same way about shame. People don’t look around at the corruption and mediocrity in evidence, even when they take two hours every day to travel a mere 20 kilometres in a city, and feel the shame of it all. Even though they probably have a greater role in our disgrace than what is exceptional about some of us.
Or, maybe people do feel shame. I was looking in the wrong places. I was chatting with fintech entrepreneur Kunal Shah in a totally different context, about human nature in general, and he said, “I guess pride is a side of shame."
What becomes of the roots of a city after it gives way to the DLFs and Jaypees of development? What sits next to the glam and shine of fresh, service class money? Backlash from moneyed yet rootless original inhabitants who were land-owners before and are now struggling to find their place in the new social order. After I read Manu Joseph’s last piece on pride/shame, I started reading through his other gems, and found this speaking to my experience of Noida/ GreNo.
Old Gurgaon’s landed grew rich, but they had also become a social underclass because of executive migrants who gave Gurgaon its reputation for ‘cosmopolitanism’, a word with no meaning. About a decade ago, the local men dealt with social confusion by routinely beating up sahibs after street altercations. Now, the sahibs have become wiser.
Gurgaon continues to boom. The rent of my home has doubled in the last two years. But the fundamental nature of the place is the nature of its original people, the people of rural Haryana. Even Mumbai could not pretend for long that it was anything more than a large Maharashtrian town.
One of the great civil wars of our times is the battle between the idea of the village and the idea of a city; the battle between roots and rootlessness. It is a battle that the village is winning everywhere.
“It is unavoidably true that every choice we make as women in a patriarchy—from plastic surgery to motherhood—is informed by patriarchy.” Allie Rowbottom’s interviews have me gripped to each line that comes out of her gorgeous mouth. This one is no different. I urgently need someone to gift me her novel, Aesthetica. I believe it is the only potion that can pull me out of my reading slump.
Judgement of women who appear to cater to the male gaze (after being indoctrinated by it for all of their lives) is a national pastime in America and something most of us are trained to do, myself included. So I think it’s often not just easy but comforting to dismiss women who make choices—aesthetic choices, in particular—perceived as vain, superficial, and for men.
The boob job is the ultimate example of this. Whereas women who reduce their breasts are often applauded for the choice, women who enlarge their breasts are often seen as dumb, feeble minded, pawns of the patriarchy. I suppose this sometimes may be true, but not always, and I would wager not often, actually. Besides, what if a woman just wants bigger breasts? Why is it more morally acceptable for her to reduce, diminish, make smaller, but not for her to make bigger, to take up more space?
And yet it is also unavoidably true that every choice we make as women in a patriarchy—from plastic surgery to motherhood—is informed by patriarchy. It’s the invisible, inescapable umbrella under which we all try to find contentment let alone empowerment.
The classic Allopathy vs Ayurveda debate unpacked in two parts by Kiran Somwanshi on her fab podcast, The Morning Brief. In the first part, she asks common and important questions in this debate to Dr. Abby Phillips (aka LiverDoc). LiverDoc is famous for counteracting myths and misinformation about Ayurveda/ alternative medicine. I used to maintain that ayurveda is alright even if it’s clinically ineffective as, at most, it causes no harm. This interview made me question that. A lot of herbal supplements and ayurvedic fads cause real, often irreversible damage to our bodies. LiverDoc has been sued by Himalaya for causing significant loss to their business through defamatory allegations against their products (ie that herbal supplements don’t work and can cause damage).
Uno’s life-enhancing recipe to make your protein shake not suck. After complicating this too much, I have finally found a way to palliate the horrible flavour of plant protein. It’s just three basic ingredients and doesn’t even need a blender! You need: Plant protein powder (I use Cosmix’s cocoa flavors), Instant coffee, and Soy milk. Here’s what you do:
Add half a cup of soy milk to your shaker
Add a spoon (or three) of instant coffee and a scoop of protein powder
Add 2 cups of soy milk
Shake well. And Voila.
The song Hawayein from Jab Harry Met Sejal. My god, the song is lovely and the movie is intolerable. Regardless, as is evident below, I love watching Shah Rukh romance.
चेहरा क्यूँ मिलता तेरा ,
यूँ ख़्वाबों से मेरे,
ये क्या राज़ है?The wonderful show, Platonic, on AppleTV that stars Rose Byrn and Seth Rogen. It’s a hilarious show about two best friends who reunite at a horrible point in their lives and help each other mend again while also being incredibly destructive for each other. I laughed for so long it felt like I was held a 12 minute plank (which I’ve obviously never done).
A complementary and depressing poem about longing from Frank O Hara.
what are you doing now
where did you eat your
lunch and were there
lots of anchovies it
is difficult to think
of you without me in
the sentence you depress
me when you are alone
Last night the stars
were numerous and today
snow is their calling
card I'll not be cordial
there is nothing that
distracts me music is
only a crossword puzzle
do you know how it is
when you are the only
passenger if there is a
place further from me
I beg you do not go
Thank you for making it so far. If you liked this, let me know. If you have ✨thoughts✨, let me know. If you hated it, please leave me alone.
~ Doing alright,
Uno