An ordinary swing song of recommendations to munch as you weekend

Why do IPOs suddenly suck, why is Sahir Ludhianvi evergreen, and should you care about celebrities getting plastic surgery?

How does one say, “I was in Goa last week” without sounding like a flaunty piece of shit? “I was in Goa last week and spent most of my waking hours in front of my laptop.” Doesn’t sound miserable enough. I’m working on it.

The sides..

Recommendations sprinkled with lots of Uno’s commentary. You did sign up for this, didn’t you?

1. Making sense of the glim IPO trend - In 1980, 9 of 10 IPOs were profitable. That’s down to just 2 of 10 in 2021. The rise of venture capital and private equity has meant that the return on the company valuation is largely extracted by the time the business is ‘tossed over to the public markets’. Reading this article raised many questions: First, how many VC-backed businesses really need to IPO in order to raise capital and expand (which should be the primary reason for a company to go public). Second, are the financial markets, proudly held by capitalists as a place where markets work perfectly, really benefiting the general public or just the top 2% who can put their money into early investment funds? Third, given how this trend maps the supposed ‘democratization’ of access to stock markets, were these markets - like most others - always supposed to benefit the richest few? Perhaps, the moment access to markets grew, they changed the game again to get their returns early. Just wondering…

Companies going public today aren’t necessarily bad businesses. Airbnb is a great company, one of my largest holdings, but it’s been a far better investment for its private backers than people in the public markets — three years after its IPO, it trades below its first trade, when public-market investors could purchase stock. Private investors who don’t need the public markets to fuel growth anymore are holding on to companies longer, squeezing all the juice before tossing husks to the masses.

-Private, No Mercy / No Malice by Scott Galloway

2. In India, too, this trend maps similarly. See what I mean below. However, one might argue (and perhaps be right) that the low-base effect is at work. That is not to say that we aren’t headed for the same future of private capture and public pump and dump as the US.

The investor who started in 1996 would have had ₹93L (~19.5%) by the time they stopped in 2010. The investors who began in 2005 would have had 46L (11.7%) when they stopped in 2020.

-The 12% Myth: Estimating Long-Term Equity Returns, CapitalMind

Note: The article discusses a very different topic, and still makes for an interesting read.

Vibe switch. Also see as, my friends and I the second we are reunited. @Shreya, Saumya, and Chintu

3. Main dekhu toh sahi, duniya tumhe kaise satati hai. Koi din ke liye apni nigahbani mujhe dedo: Switching lanes rather abruptly, here’s a beautiful song/poem/ghazal on the same lines as, “Dhoom dhoom just break my heart, aa lele tu meri jaan.” I strongly believe that this is indeed the crux of all love songs. Jokes apart, nothing cracks me open like Sahir Ludhianvi’s writing, and this song sung by Jagjit Kaur is simply something else.

Tum apna ranj-o-gham apni pareshani mujhe dedo,
tumhein gham ki qasam, is dil ki veerani mujhe dedo,

ye mana main kisi qabil nahi hoon in nigahon mein,
bura kya hai agar yeh dukh, yeh hairani mujhe dedo

main dekhu toh sahi duniya tumhe kaise satati hai,
koi din ke liye apni nigahbani mujhe dedo,

vo dil jo maine manga tha magar gairon ne paya hai,
badi shai hai agar uski pareshani mujhe dedo..

-Lyrics from Rekhta

4. Cosmetic procedures and radical transparency - what does it matter? Recently, a very fashionable influencer admitted to having gotten lip fillers. In their comments section, opinons ranged from, “we already knew this. It’s obvious you got work done.”; to “so?? why are you talking about this? who asked you??” (this one always cracks me up); to “You are a disappointment to your young followers, and you should be ashamed of yourself”.. Truthfully, I think this transparency is a step forward in clarifying how crazy the beauty standards are. Yet, I don’t know if it does anything to breaking these norms altogether. One can argue whether that’s the job of influencers and celebrities.. and I will argue back that it is!

“I’ve always known that I am beautiful. I’ve also experienced moments of insecurity. Lip fillers didn’t erase these insecurities, but they gave me a much needed confidence boost. People dissecting my face, hurling insults, and labelling me as ‘fake’/'‘plastic’ & ‘unbearable’ is a harsh form of critique that NO woman should endure.”

No one should face online abuse but.. judgement? I think a little judgment is just about alright, especially if you are a social influencer. We must insist that people browse the internet with more judgement, not less. It’s actually good that this ‘dissecting’ happens concurrently as more and more people submit to cosmetic procedures. While US tops the cosmetic procedures trend, India is not far behind - it’s 4th place, actually. I also think it’s okay to call some bullshit on this kind of faux transparency. Saying “I got work done” is not the same as admitting to the entire journey of why you got the work done and how that’s changed (or not changed) your insecurities and your life. As Mother Jessica Defino has written before,

I’m sorry (I’m not), but admitting you got a face lift is not radical transparency. It’s regular transparency. Radical transparency would be emotionally contextualizing the face lift — maybe a statement along the lines of, “The superficiality of this world is simply too much for me to bear! Maybe it’s the industry I work in, but if I don’t feel young and hot, I don’t feel worthy. I am willing to have a surgeon cut off my face and sew it back on, but tighter — yes, even in the middle of a deadly pandemic! — because my identity is tied up in my appearance, and because facing my mortality is fucking terrifying, and because no one ever teaches us how to deal with these emotions. I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don’t recognize myself anymore! On some level, I guess I understand that that’s part of being human… that you’re not supposed to recognize yourself as you get older, that you’re supposed to evolve and grow and shape-shift and learn and expand into new experiences and continue becoming you. But nah. I don’t wanna. I got used to the previous version of me, thanks, and that other stuff sounds hard, so… a face lift it is. You feel me?” Or, you know, something to that effect.

5. The internet right now perfectly captured by The Onion.

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That’s it for this edition of Uno’s Thought Scramble. Thank you for making it so far. If you liked this, let me know. If you have ✨thoughts✨, let me know. If you hated it, please leave me alone.

~ Judging-ly,

Uno